So, my Dad comes over tonight, and when I answer the door he's got something behind his back. He gives me this line about how he's been worried ever since I moved into this neighborhood so he brought me something to use for protection. Then he pulls out a HUGE zucchini. 1.642 kg (that's 3.62 pounds).
Update: half the zucchini has been stuffed (with farro, corn, pine nuts, garlic, shallot, dill, and an egg), a quarter turned into two loaves of zucchini bread, and a quarter remains in the fridge. Suggestions?
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